No One Cares How Hard You Work

“No one cares how hard you work.” “When I can spend what you save me, let me know.” “How can you prove, except by your own opinion, that you add any real value?”

Pretty harsh words – evaluations actually – and all uttered by a former business leader as we discussed the HR function. Mind you, he thought I did a good job (okay, a great job), and yet had enough respect for me to challenge me with these vexing utterances. Why would such seemingly hurtful comments and/or questions be classified as respectful? Because these comments gave a very real glimpse into how the other professions might view ours. And our own actions, or inaction, might be painting that portrait.

The fact is, our peers expect that our work will be on time and good, just as we do of them. We expect accounting to account, sales to sell, IT to ensure our machines work, etc., etc. HR has long, and I believe accurately, held that our work converts strategy into results. That the true measure of our success as a function is directly tied, if not largely responsible for, the success of the entity. And yet, when we talk about our own metrics, if we even have them, we speak in terms of internal efficiency, and units of something – job recs, benefits forms, hours folks have been trained, policies promulgated – as if the amount of anything was a measure of whether or not it was any good. More of something bad isn’t a good thing. How often do we ask ourselves the harder question – what is the efficacy of these efforts to the organization as whole, to the business leaders we guide and/or support, to the employees, and to the final customer? Do we audit ourselves?

Also true is that great HR is as much art as it is science. And the nuances in between those two are difficult to measure. The same can be said of many professions. Take medicine or law. There are things that can be seen. People that are saved or cases won. Many of the greatest victories of all, thought, are in a difficult to codify realm of prevention. Sound familiar? And yet, these professions develop standards of practice, protocols, invite review. They police themselves, in large part. In short, they demonstrate a level of courage to look at their results. At least the good practitioners do. And we want to be great practitioners of a meaningful profession.

Are we looking?

It is said that he who knows others is learned and that he who knows himself is wise. Until we have the wisdom to look at ourselves and evaluate our own profession, we will continue to have difficulty in convincing our peer professions of our value. It requires discipline and, in no small amount, courage. This is a concept beyond simple metrics – it is beyond efficiency and accuracy, which our peers consider a price of admission just as we do of them, it is about results. About effectiveness. About value. About impact.

In order to change the perspective of others, we must first change ours. Here are two things we can do:

Begin with the end in mind…

Evaluate processes, policy and metrics from the perspective of not just our internal clients, but also the end clients the organization serves.
An example: HR departments will often have complicated metrics regarding processing of job requisitions. Similar to an accounting aging report, we look at speed to fill, etc. Important? Yes. And perhaps too simplistic and internally focused. Consider matrixed metrics that those outside the recruiting function can support, such as speed to full productivity. This latter example invites collaboration as it approaches the process from the end, with what the organization and operational units desire – fully productive team members. Such a metric involves recruiting, training, line management mentoring and onboarding, etc. And is understandable and defensible to the non-HR wonk. Sure each of the sub elements require their own sets of analyses and metrics. Fully productive team members are a “product” HR can produce that the client understands, supports and appreciates.
Watch your language…

Great human resources practitioners, and leaders of any kind really, accomplish things through influence rather than direct control and power. And influence, at least of the positive kind, is based on trust. HR practitioners can unwittingly undermine trust by the very words they choose to use. Small changes can make a very big difference in establishing ourselves as integral and indispensable members of the team. Three things to police ourselves for:

Telling people what they can’t do…

Our peers are hired to “do” something. HR’s legitimate compliance and manager roles often result in evaluating the plans of others and the need for feedback regarding potential issues. Many times, we will say “you can’t do that.” And perhaps we can’t. However, if we continually tell people who are charged with “doing” things that they “can’t do them,” the likely result is that we will simply be left out of the conversation. Far better results will be achieved by sharing what we can do rather than what we can’t. Make the suggestion in the positive terms of what can be done, therefore inviting discussion rather than appearing to shut down the conversation and being labeled as obstructionist.

No one likes to be “should” on…

A similarly detrimental set of dynamics occurs when we tell folks, usually after the fact, what they should have done. No one likes to be should on. There is no way saying to a peer “you should have done…” that does not appear judgmental. And, if this is advice after whatever action has already occurred, it is relatively useless. Instead, build rapport and trust by striking “should” from your vernacular, substituting language such as “what would have happened if,” “if this were to happen again in light of what we know now, how could we get a different result,” etc. This simple change of phrase positions HR as a coach and problem-solver rather than a judge.

Freeing ourselves from the infamous “they”…

A friend shared the other day that we should all be careful what we say, because we are listening. And so are our peers. Having spent more than two decades in HR and the associations that support the profession, the self-defeating, blaming language of the ubiquitous “they” holds us back. Statements such as “When are they going to include me?” “Why don’t they respect me?” “They just don’t understand.” Such an external locus of control and focus renders us incapable of changing anything. And it rightly sounds like we are whining. What instead? Insert yourself into the issue in the form of an actionable solution. “What can I do to gain acceptance,” ” What do my peers respect and how can I demonstrate that.” Sound simple? Absolutely not. It means that we are in control of our success. So much easier to live with unhappy inertia than to stand up and walk.

HR’s journey toward the respect it feels it deserves begins here. HR, heal thyself.

Five Easy-To-Avoid Mistakes Leaders Make

As an executive coach who has worked with some incredibly bright, well-intentioned, and successful people, I guarantee that all leaders are capable of making damaging mistakes that are easily avoided.

Sometimes, this happens because of personal blind spots. We all have them–those features of ourselves that others can see but we can’t. You think of yourself as someone who tells it like it is. Others who have been on the receiving end of your ‘brutal honesty’ see you as far more brutal than honest.

Blind spots can be especially crippling for leaders in high-powered positions who only get positive feedback, because others are intimidated by them. In the absence of criticism it’s easy to get self-deluded. Even when frank feedback is presented, the receiver has to be willing to take it on board.

Here are five avoidable mistakes that leaders make and some coaching tips that will make you a more effective leader:

1) Avoid sarcasm. Humor that we can all laugh at is jocular. Humor that is at someone else’s expense is jugular. Sarcasm is jugular and can cut deep without meaning to and without you realizing it. Just because someone is laughing on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t seething on the inside. This may be one of the simplest of all leadership mistakes to avoid, but the hardest habit to break if you don’t recognize sarcasm’s destructive potential.

2) Be consistent. There is nothing so disingenuous as a leader who takes one stand on an issue for one audience and a different stand for another. This isn’t just the stuff of political attack ads. Bosses who give different accounts to different groups run the same risk. It is simply too easy in our networked world for people to compare notes and figure out something is not right. It’s not just the content that has to be consistent; the style of delivery is important, too. Acting gravely concerned in front of one audience but flippant with another on the same subject is bound to come back to bite you.

3) Share personal concerns judiciously. Leaders need confidantes. The old adage is true: It’s lonely at the top. But recognize that as a leader your followers look up to you and can’t be expected to pick you up when you’re down. Those folks are probably struggling with their own challenges, and it undercuts their confidence in you when they have to listen to your troubles. Find an external coach or mentor that you trust and confide in them.

4) Find out what silence means. You may be the most approachable person in the world, but don’t assume that others will open up to you. There are many reasons people keep quiet, and it may have nothing (or everything) to do with you. Ask what others are thinking, then keep quiet yourself.

5) Admit your mistakes. As hard as it can be to do, admit when you are wrong. Don’t justify or make excuses. Just say, “I blew it.” Then address what it’s going to take to make things right.

Simple Leadership Ideas for Complicated Challenges

It seems the speed of our working environments continue to increase. No one would argue that the chief executive of today is faced with the task of prioritizing many more demands, more rapidly addressing concerns of constituents or stakeholders, and held accountable for more complex decisions, more far reaching consequences and more complex interactions. In contrast to these increased demands for rapid, accurate actions (or, perhaps as a result of them) our collective attention spans have seemed to shorten even further – our “financial news” cycle has shrunk from annually to quarterly to monthly to daily and sometimes even, unbelievably hourly or minute-to-minute! And, in this environment, leaders at every level must operate.

To imply that “leadership is easy” is like stating, “solving world hunger is simple: produce enough food for everyone and get it to them.” The objectives are clear enough, but the methods of reaching them are complicated by economic, political, and environmental challenges – all impacting food production and delivery (in the case of world hunger) and goods/services production and delivery (in the case of industry.)

With the increased demands for attention and the decrease of decision-making time, is there really any short-list of leadership “must do” behaviors? The answer is yes. Here are several, well supported, clear actions leaders can employ which are associated with personal and organizational success:

Surround yourself with talented individuals. It is impossible for any single individual to master the domain of knowledge that is embedded in the task of running a large organization. Having talented individuals who have the responsibility and authority for planning, executing and evaluating strategic goals is a requirement.
Practice honesty and openness. Information and trust are the balms that keep organizations and teams running smoothly. Conversely, practicing deception or obscurity is akin to throwing sand into the gears of a machine. Develop skills in soliciting and delivering performance feedback (yes, it is necessary at senior levels in organizations!), clearly connect performance to consequences, and maintain a willingness to hear unpopular opinions, make difficult decisions and address difficult situations/relationships.
Be the “good example” (even when no one is looking.) Integrity, diligence, and hard work are personal leadership characteristics that influence the entire organization. These characteristics should be readily visible to everyone in the organization and expected of everyone in the organization. Strategic HR initiatives may reinforce the culture of the organization, but it is the senior leaders who create and constantly reshape the culture.
Practice strategic thinking. Strategic decision making determines the where, when and how to spend limited resources to determine the main directions of the business, ensuring its continued viability and success. Strategies are typically conceptual and general, ideas that can be spread over the entire enterprise and have a extended life. Tactical decisions, while necessary for goal accomplishment, are concrete ideas that are task/operation specific.

Do these four practices hold the key to achieving any goal? Unfortunately, no. Simply put, following these principles is not a guarantee of success, but failing to follow them is the quick path to failure. Think of Leadership Made Easy as “necessary but not sufficient”, providing a foundation from which a successful team or organization may operate.

Improving your Meeting Facilitation Skills and the One Thing that Facilitators “Must” Do!

We all spend so much time in meetings and we all wonder why! We also wonder why aren’t meetings effective and how can we make them more effective.

Having effective meetings is a multi-faceted challenge, and therefore requires a multi-dimensional solution. In my presentations about effective meetings, I tackle 4 dimensions ranging from 1) skill development, 2) using technology more effectively, 3) working more strategically, to 4) uncovering and addressing underlying root causes that are specific to your team or organization. In this article, I will address the skill development dimension.

The 7 skills that can help make meetings effective

Skill #1: Having clear agenda. This goes beyond the list of agenda items. A clear agenda needs to include the “type” of items, the owner, and the allotted time. The most common types are “fyi,” “discussion,” “input,” or “decision.” Clarifying the type of each time creates clarify and focus, and therefore efficiency and meaningful outcomes.

Skill #2: Having a clear decision making process. Teams and organizations who aren’t skilled in decision making spend a lot of time spinning their wheels. When tackling a decision item, the owner of this item needs to clarify how the decision will be made. The most common types are “one person making the decision” (this may not require a meeting), “consultative decision,” or “consensus based.”

Skill #3: Active facilitation while staying flexible. An active facilitator asks questions, makes suggestions, keeps everyone engaged, and stays flexible. Easier said than done and can only happen with diligent practice!

Skill #4: Active participation while staying flexible. An active participant makes suggestions but he/she lets the facilitator facilitate. He/she stays engaged throughout, helping move the items forward, and helping create compelling outcomes.

Skill #5: Capturing and finalizing action items. Enough said!

Skill #6: Pre and post-meeting preparation. The meeting time is precious time. A lot needs to happen before the meeting to make the most of everyone’s time and leverage everyone’s expertise. Educating participants ahead of time about the issues and providing background material can go a long way. Continuing this process after the meeting is just as critical.

Skill #7: Leveraging online tools to your advantage. This refers to information sharing tools and virtual meeting tools. These tools can help reduce meetings and shorten meeting times and allow us to focus meetings on the important issues rather than the basic information that can be shared offline.

After going through these skills, one participant asked me: “But how do I handle a meeting participant who ‘highjacks’ my meeting!” This ended up being a great discussion on facilitation skills and managing difficult participants.

One aspect of this discussion that I would like to mention relates to skill #3 and it is the one thing that I believe facilitators must do above all: “Step into the facilitator role, claim it, and be it.” This translates to your tone of voice, your eye contact, the content of what you say, among other things. Give yourself permission to be the facilitator. If you are not normally comfortable with some of the behaviors that are associated with this role, practice and role-play ahead of time. This can go a long way in setting the tone of the meeting, and paving the road for being effective and for creating amazing results!

Negotiating Team Conflicts Productively

If you’re like most people, then you probably know that interpersonal conflicts cannot be avoided, and if you’ve given it any thought, then you probably also know that there is no personal, industrial or social progress without some modicum of struggle. If fact, I think it is safe to say that without conflict there would be no motivation for anyone to ever embrace change or consider doing anything differently. Conflict can prevent stagnation; stimulate creativity, curiosity, and interest. However, conflict is most important because without it, intimacy, team cohesion, and attunement cannot be achieved. Developmentally teams need to learn to engage conflict knowing that it is normal and if executed effectively can produce qualitatively better outcomes. Failure to engage conflict forces issues underground diverting precious energy from productive action while also inadvertently creating a culture of apathy.

That said it’s important to note that not all team conflicts are productive. Realistic or functional team conflicts are generally based on opposing needs, goals, means, values, or interests. Whereas, nonrealistic or dysfunctional team conflicts generally stem from ignorance, error, tradition, prejudice, ineffective organizational structures, win/lose type of competitions, or a need to release tension.

To ensure that your conflicts are productive, work to model respect for yourself through assertion (not aggression), show respect for others, and implement the following:

First and foremost, manage your feelings and behavior effectively. You cannot manage a conflict well if you have not learned to manage yourself first.
Practice active listening and empathy to address feelings first using open-ended questions (e.g., How did you interpret things?) This will help to de-escalate any difficult conversation.
Seek first to understand the other’s feelings, thoughts, wants, and needs – understanding does not mean you have to agree. Then work to make self understood.
Surrender the win/lose dynamic – instead work toward a win/win.
Use “I” statements (e.g., I feel frustrated.). “You” statements tend to trigger defensiveness (e.g., Your frustrating me.).
Remember that intent does not equal impact. Even when we have good intentions it is possible that others may feel hurt and visa versa.
Define the conflict in terms of needs (i.e., the problem you are trying to solve), not solutions.
Build on areas of agreement, before you address areas of difference.

About: Eugene Dilan, Psy.D. is the Founder and President of the Dilan Consulting Group. For more on negotiating team conflicts productively, go to our Conflict Management page or our facilitated team development page.

The 7 skills that can help make meetings effective

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